11
Child Discipline
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11.1
What to Know
It’s not hard to grasp that a basic role of a dad is to discipline his children. But what might not be so clear is when and how you should use proper discipline, and that you must model self-discipline to raise children who behave properly.
Proper discipline starts with knowing the difference between discipline and punishment. Too often, dads think they’re one in the same. Discipline involves teaching and guiding your children to respect authority, to control their emotions, and to react properly to the behavior of others.
The goal of discipline is to develop the character your children need to succeed, and to instill proper morals and values in them.
Punishment doesn’t teach or guide. It involves causing physical or emotional pain in your children when they do something wrong. You must never cause your children physical pain, such as by hitting them or taking away what they need to survive, such as food. The problem with punishing children is that it rarely works. That’s why you should rely on discipline as often as you can and punishment only as a last resort. If you punish too often, your children will learn to ignore its effects. Use non-physical forms of punishment, such as taking away a privilege, putting your children in “time out,” or grounding your children when they do something wrong. After you punish your children, repair the damage. Forgive your children for what they’ve done. Tell them that you love them despite what they’ve done, and no matter what.
Raising children who behave properly also involves self-discipline. If you tell your children to do one thing and you do the opposite, it sends the message that you don’t mean what you say.
Your children pick up on even simple things. Take making the bed. If you tell your children to make their beds in the morning and you don’t make your own, what does that say to your children about the value of keeping a tidy home? You must walk the talk. Dads who smoke, drink alcohol heavily, become angry easily and yell at their children, and who can’t stick to a healthy diet and a work out plan have a more difficult time raising children who behave properly than dads with healthy lifestyles marked by self-discipline.
24/7 Dad® to Go
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What Else
11.2
Dads approach discipline in many ways. Which of the following styles of discipline best describe you? Which style is ideal? Which style would the mother of your children and your children use to describe you? Go ahead. Ask them.
Tap each icon to learn more
Click on each icon to learn more
11.3
What to Ask
Click to scroll through each of the questions below. Grab a paper and pen to write down your answers if you wish. Take your time.
Tap the arrows to scroll through the questions
Click the arrows to scroll through the questions
Do I know the difference between punishment and discipline? Do I punish more than I discipline?
What do I need to learn so that I can properly discipline my children?
Do I need to change my style of discipline?
How self-disciplined am I? How can I become a better model of self-discipline?
Do I walk the talk? Do I have habits or addictions that send the wrong messages to my children? Do I need help to overcome any poor habits or addictions?
Get Inspired
Watch this brief video from Randall Gonzalez.
11.4
Learn More
Praise.
Touch.
Freedoms.
Presents.
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Click a point to learn more
11.5
Here are some ways to reward your children.
Bonus Tip.
Say You’re Disappointed.
Pay it Back.
Time Out.
Grounding.
Here are some non-violent ways to punish your children.
Take Away a Freedom.
Bonus Tip.
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Child Discipline